Sunday, November 8, 2009

Explosive Moments

You may have noticed I have been absent for a few weeks. I've been dodging some explosive moments and putting out a few fires. Excuse me for not being around, I've missed being here. But if there is one thing I have learned, as both a mother and a wife , is when duty calls your family comes first. When God beckons, I better suit up and rush out the door, ready to face whatever fires He is asking me to extinguish.

We thought that on the heels of WB's Great-Grandmother passing away, our own little swine flu epidemic, praying for good health to return so we could travel to the funeral, then back home for the burial, lots of family, many, many little ones underfoot and frayed nerves that we could manage to avoid any other explosive moments. That, however, was not to be the case.

When it seemed the dust was settling, Little One was again tested for the flu and still positive. The doctor also heard a few extra heartbeats. An EKG later we were told that the extra heartbeats did not show up on the EKG, good news. They would send it off the the cardiologist though to be read. We received reassurances that only once did she ever have to refer a patient to the cardiologist and all would be fine. But a week later they called to tell us the pediatric cardiologist did indeed see something on her EKG and we were being referred. Only problem was we'd have to wait until Dec. 10th to see the doctor. With a mother who spent most of her life as a cardiac care nurse and a father with heart problems that started during childhood, I really did not want to wait so long to see the doctor. Everyone offered reassurances that it "will probably be fine to wait" and that it is "most likely not a big deal". Regardless, it felt like someone spraying water on an oil fire. It wasn't helping.

So I pray, asking God if it is patience He is seeking or just a little bit of faith. I lay in bed at night thinking of all the things I'm neglecting. I write stories in my head, because typing them out just isn't going to happen anytime soon. I feel like the fires are lapping at my heels and I'm slowly melting.
Then one night I close my eyes, say my prayers and fall sound asleep. I am awakened by my husband sitting straight up in bed asking me "What was that sound?' I hear nothing. He jumps up telling me it shook the house. I become alarmed as he jumps out of bed and runs downstairs. I still hear nothing. Out our window I see him look to the horizon and quickly turn towards me and motions me outside. As I walk outside I can hear the loud swooshing sound, like a jet engine roaring. I follow the direction of my husbands stare and there on the horizon is a ball of fire.

All I can say is in those moments, when you have no idea what is happening or what is to come, you have nothing but your faith to rely on. Suddenly, everything comes into sharp focus. My thoughts turn towards my three sleeping children and I realize that there are things that are out of my control. The only thing I can do is have faith. Have faith and listen closely for the rumblings of explosive moments. And when they happen turn to God and let Him take control.

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." James1:2-4

*The explosion was an underground gas pipe exploding 5 miles from our home. God was watching over our little community because the explosion was in a neighborhood and yet no one died. One house is completely gone, 2 more damaged, and three people sent to the hospital. Our normal high winds were non-existent and we had an unusually high dew point that evening to keep the fires from spreading across the plains.


Eileen Astels Watson said...

Oh my, you haven't had a good time, Tara. I'm praying for you, your little one, and all your family as you traverse these multitude of trials.

Good to see your blog layout back to normal!

Anonymous said...

Wow. I thought my life was recently very demanding and crazy, but then I realize others can feel exactly the same.
Hang in there.

Amy said...

Wow, what a blessing that God worked out everything the way he did with the explosion!

So sorry you are having to go through the extra testing and especially the long wait. Looking on the positive side, it looks like a good thing to me that 'they' don't think things are urgent enough to hurry you in, but still...
...a mother knowing her baby needs tests and there may be a problem and having to wait that long... could be excruciating. I'll be praying for you all.

Pat's Place said...

Life is like that sometimes.

Warren Baldwin said...

Wow, you have had your plate full. Thankfully the Lord has been with you. Glad no one was injured in the explsions, and will pray for your little girl. God bless.

Warren Baldwin said...

I'm sorry, I meant to say, "Glad no one was killed in the explosions." Will pray for the 3 that were injured.

Kara said...

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. God is good for sure!

Jill Kemerer said...

Oh, Kara, how awful! I'm praying for you, your family, and your community. Thanks for the positive take on such a stressful time.

Terri Tiffany said...

Praise God for your protection! Your story brought me to tears--when we go through trials like these, we can only draw into our faith for protection and know He is there watching over us.
Please keep us posted about your little one!