Wednesday, February 29, 2012

A Dad Who Treasures His Daughters Hearts

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I’m pretty sure 12 years ago when we were awaiting the arrival of our first child that my husband would have said he’d like to have a boy someday. But our first born was a girl. She came into this world fighting to take her first breath, determined to overcome her shaky arrival and in the process wrapped her dad around her finger. She also looked just like him, making me wonder if I had anything to do with her creation.

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While awaiting the arrival of our second child we were sure it was a boy. That is, until at 4 months, the sonogram confirmed it was a girl. My husband might have been a tad disappointed for the briefest of instances that our baby wasn’t a boy. But he rebounded in the blink of an eye, looked at the sonogram screen and grinned at his seemingly long-legged, healthy daughter.

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WB, my husband, is one of four boys. Little girls were almost alien to him. He had a hard enough time figuring out his wife, much less two daughters. So when we found out 5 years after our second was born that we were again expecting, I thought for sure that God was giving WB his boy. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with one of those, but I knew I’d figure it out quick enough. Sonogram at 4 months confirmed another girl. I breathed a sigh of relief, another healthy girl. I stole a glance at WB. Once again he was staring at the sonogram screen grinning ear to ear. He squeezed my hand and boastfully told the nurse, “Another girl, no problem. I know girls. I’ve got the routine down.”

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And he does. Or what he doesn’t know he is learning fast enough. His daughters are now almost 5, 9, and 12. Just like any other Dad of a daughter he jokes of cleaning guns when the boys start coming around. But all jokes aside, he is making sure his girls hearts are well protected and treasured.

He has started taking each one on Daddy Dates. The girls LOVE this time with their Dad. He checks with them on the date and time and gives them an idea of how to dress, as he likes to keep them guessing as to where they are going. He picks them up at the bottom of the stairs promptly at the designated time. He holds open doors for them. He engages them in conversation that lets them know he cares what they have to say and he respects their views on things.

Outside of Daddy Dates he brings them flowers on very special occasions, he has figured out his girls like pretty flowers. He celebrates their milestones with high fives, hugs, and sweet words. He’s learned girls don’t respond too well to boot-camp commands, but instead to words spoken firmly and with affection. Instead of running from the tears my girls shed, he has learned that a hug usually helps stop the crying. He’s also taught them that girls can shoot, fish, engineer, and build right alongside of the boys and still be a beautiful girl.

WB is teaching my girls a little at a time how their future boyfriends and husbands should treat them. By the time they are ready to date they will know that they need to be in a relationship with someone that will respect them and their feelings. WB is confirming a little bit each day that their hearts are to be treasured and protected. He is teaching them that a little roughness around the edges is okay, as long as the heart of who they seek is good. He lets them know, in a thousand little ways, that whoever wins their heart must be worthy.

WB has embraced the role God gave him of being a Daddy to three girls. He doesn’t question how things turned out, even when I nag him with questions if he is really okay with “no boys”. He just gives me that grin, the one that captured my heart. And I can’t help but thank God that WB is the one who now protects my daughters hearts as well.

Do you think girls tend to find husbands that remind them of their Dad? And I really have no clue about boys, but is it the same way- they tend to find wives like their Moms? Or maybe we try to find someone who is nothing like our Dad or Mom, what do you think?

21 comments:

Ginger Calem said...

What a lovely post! My heart always melts for daddy-daughter relationships. My husband will polish our daughter's nails -- toes too! He'll have tea. Anything. I love it.

Louise Behiel said...

this post brought tears to my eyes. As you know, your girls are very lucky. I think girls tend to marry their fathers and vice versa for boys, although I have to admit my ex husband is much like my mother VBG

Christine said...

I love this post, Kara!

Yes! Girls do go for men like their daddy! Which is why both of my girls are still single!!

My youngest quite recently told me that it's almost impossible to find a nice, kind man. And that there's no way she'll ever find one like her dad. My husband was stunned and he asked her why. She said because 'You put mum (me) front and centre in everything you do. And you want mum to be the best she can be in whatever she does.'

I've two girls who have twenty-two months between them. Ten years later came the only boy in both sides of the family. I'm polishing the gun for when the girl-friends come around, lol!

Pat O'Dea Rosen said...

Like Louise, I've got tears in my eyes. What a thoughtful man WB is to have started the Daddy Dates. My girls are grown--and single. I suspect they're holding out for a man as caring as their father.

Kara said...

Thank you all for your sweet comments. I think it is wonderful that our husbands are such good dads. Our daughters are lucky, and I know one day they will meet a man that captures their heart just like their Daddy did:)

Jennette Marie Powell said...

Awwww, this is so sweet! The comment about cleaning the guns is certainly my husband, regarding our daughter! She used to love doing things with him when she was younger, but at 16, she doesn't have much in common with him now, and they get along, but are kind of baffled by each other. She's a lot more intellectual than he is, and her boyfriend's even more so, so I can't see her winding up with someone like her dad. But my DH is like my dad in some ways, not so much in others, so who knows? What a great post!

Coleen Patrick said...

Lovely post Kara. And Daddy Dates? That is so awesome--your girls are blessed!

Karen McFarland said...

Wow Kara, you made me cry!!!

What an amazing husband you have and loving father to your girls. I agree with Christine, they might have a hard time finding someone who will measure up to their Daddy! Not that that's a bad thing, but there is not to many men out there like him.

We had the opposite. We had boys. And for my husband I do think that it was easier, but we both would have liked to have a girl. Being sixteen months apart, as I look back, we are so glad that they were the same sex. They have always been close, even now as adults.

I am so happy to hear about the dynamics of your family's happiness. You found yourself a good man Kara! :)

Prudence MacLeod said...

What a heart warming post. Your hubby is a sweetheart. With luck the girls will indeed find husbands like dear old Dad.
You have a beautiful family; thanks for sharing.innefte

Marcy Kennedy said...

I think it's a little of both. One way my husband is very different from my dad is that my husband enjoys talking and my dad barely speaks two words. I love that about my husband. But in some ways, they're very much alike, and I love those things about both of them.

August said...

What a beautiful post, Kara! My dad has four brothers and one sister and now has four daughters and 8 granddaughters (only one son). :-) And I definitely think many of us look for mates who remind us of our dads. My sisters and I all have loving, respectful, kind husbands... all traits of my dad.

Kara said...

I'm wondering what the teen years will bring with our girls. I think my husband is a mix of my Dad and Grandfather in a lot of ways, so I understand what you are saying about your husband.

Kara said...

Thanks Coleen!

Kara said...

Thanks Karen:) I hope my girls will be selective, but I also think that sometimes you have to date those not so great guys to appreciate the good ones. Hopefully, WB has laid a foundation for them that they will always fall back on. I love watching siblings who are close together in age grow up and still be banded together. It sounds like you have a beautiful family!

Kara said...

Thank you Prudence. I hope they do:)

Kara said...

That is so funny. Thinking about your husband and dad I realize my dad loves to talk and my husband not so much!

Kara said...

Thank you August:) Wow, your dad is really outnumbered! But he obviously did a great job as you and your sisters have happy marriages:)

LynNerdKelley said...

Your husband is a wonderful father, and I do believe girls are attracted to men who are like their fathers, and the same with sons being attracted to women who remind them of their mothers. For the most part. There are always exceptions. This is such a touching post. You have a lovely family, Kara.

Jennifer Shirk said...

I had a very close relationship with my dad. I just loved him to pieces. Well, I ended up marrying someone who is SO similar that my mom and I laugh about it.

And now my daughter is tight with my hubby too. They have their own special relationship. I love it.

My hubby went to a Christian men's retreat once and there was told that a girl's self-esteem and sense of self-worth comes from the father. That stuck in his mind and he makes sure he is a good role model for her.
Great topic!

Terri Tiffany said...

I do think daughters lean toward finding husbands like their Dads if they had a good relationship with them:) You are so blessed to have three girls:)

Jennifer Jensen said...

You tugged at my heartstrings with this one, Kara. My hubby had a great relationship with our daughter, but not like this - he would never have thought of painting her fingernails for her! Maybe because our kids went girl-boy-boy instead of all girls. But he's a great dad and set the example for her AND the boys of treating women with love and respect, right down to opening doors. Which makes our very independent daughter laugh now, but I tell her that I wait for him because he likes to do it for me, not because I can't do it myself.

Thanks for the smiles.