Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Herding Cattle

The other day I looked out our window and saw a bunch of cows coming over the canyon to the east pasture. They hadn't been around for a few weeks so Little One and I decided to go down and check things out. Little One gets so excited by the sight of the cows that she does a little jig every time she sees them and lets out a squeal. Anyway, as we walked closer I noticed something was out of place.

Yes, one cow had managed to find her way across the fence and into our yard. Geez, my work is never done around here! I tried shooing her back down to the creek where she crossed over, but I found myself feeling a little vulnerable staring down an animal that weighs over a thousand pounds while holding a 16 month old. So I decided to run to the barn and jump on my horse. Wait, I don't have a horse...okay I jumped on my four wheeler. Oh yeah, don't have that either...alright already I got on my riding lawn mower and headed out to the east pasture. Little One looked very adorable with her ear protection on, but I somehow missed taking a picture of that. Must of been too busy planning my herding techniques.

I approached on my rather loud steed, cautiously edging up on her to get her pointed in the right direction. Just as I backed her into a corner and was about to turn her down the fence line the garbage truck showed up. With the loud crash of the dumpster being dropped back to the road the cow and I both realized at the same time that I was standing in her way of getting away from the noise. I threw my trusty lawnmower into reverse, while Little One clung to me for dear life and the cow bolted ten feet in the wrong direction. And suddenly as I stared at the whites of the cows bulging eyes I realized something, we don't own any cows. So why the heck do they keep showing up in my yard?

We went back to the house and I contemplated my next move. I discussed all my strategies with Little One and I asked her what she thought of my ideas...
Yes, it seems she has inherited WB's ability to make me feel like a crazy, raving woman with just one look.

I then decided to discuss my plans with the cow.

She didn't seem to excited about them either.

To make a long story short she spent half the day under a mesquite tree. When she decided to wonder too close to the garden I got in the suburban and drove her to the other side of the road. She bellowed and mooed the whole way. At this point I decided to call my sister in the big city and tell her of my plight.

Me: What ya doing?

Her: Driving to the gym. What are you doing?

Me: Driving cattle.

Her: Whaaaat?

Me: Dumb cow in my yard. (at this point the cow starts making all sorts of noise).

Her: That's a loud cow. Maybe you could spray it with water or something...

In the meantime Little One could barely contain her excitement and laughed gleefully from her car seat. Finally, the cow found her way back so I could get on with my day without worrying about my precious cantaloupes and tomatoes being stomped on.

By the way have you ever heard a cow growl, just asking?


kpottlitzer said...

i told you it would make a good story! i also like my cameo appearance :)

Smockity Frocks said...

Hilarious! I wish I could have seen you on that horse, er, lawn mower.

Have you seen my post today?

Pat's Place said...

I laughed and laughed! Great story! Only in the wilds of Texas can such things happen. Oh, yes, I know you live close to a big city, but your country life does have its hilarious moments! At least viewed with hindsight. Keep those stories coming!!!

Amy said...

Haha! I love the idea of herding cattle from a lawnmower! Heehee.

Great job saving your canteloupes!

Michael Paine said...

Get 'um girl! LOL funny stuff. Oh the adventures of a stay-at-home mom. And some say we don't do anything all day!